it's a miracle i haven't gained too much
still binged like an idiot
hate myself for it
couldn't bring myself to throw up
and i've tried
for fucking thirty minutes
my throat is soar
from my nails hitting the back of it
there was so much spit
but i couldn't throw up
don't know why
guess it's a good thing
people are mean about it
still
shouldn't have ate that
wasn't even hungry
but i thought i could purge it
thought i could finally do it
now i'm 44,1kg
still need to lose
especially since i'm eating too much
but at least i haven't gained a lot
need to stop
fucking
binging
what the fuck is wrong with me
need to make a promise to myself
i won't binge
i won't binge
i won't binge
will eat the strict minimum
will make it difficult
will only drink cold water
no biscuits
no bowl of cereal
not a single handful of cereal