i want to scream
i'm the fucking worse
what is wrong with me
what is fucking wrong with me
i'm the he fucking problem
i'm always complaining
i have no right to complain
i'm the one fucking it up
i'm always fucking it up
and then act surprised
or like a victim
i'm the one doing this to myself
i juste need
to fucking stop eating
i need to stop
please just stop
stop
stop
stop
it's not that complicated
i'm gonna be huge when i get back
it's gonna take so much time
to lose it all again
i'm fucking up my own progress
i'll never get where i want
if i keep being like this
fuck
how can i claim to be anorexic
fuck
i eat so fucking much
my stomach is so bloated
i feel fucking disgusting
i want to hide
i don't want to go anymore
i don't want to be seen like this
i'm ashamed
fuck
my stomach hurts
i feel so full
and yet i keep fucking eating
fuck
i'm so mad at myself
i'm pissed
this is ridiculous
i'm ridiculous
i'm a fucking joke of an anorexic
we only ate carbs
and fucking sauces
and i ate so much chocolate
i have no fucking control
no willpower
i tell myself to stop
and i don't
i'm so weak
not even
it's pathetic
i would laugh at myself
i would have pity of me
poor little disgusting whale
that eats whatever she can find
and then complain
and gets scared
and anxious
and hates herself
it's my fault if i hate myself
it's all my fucking fault
i want to cry
shut up
shut the fuck up
i have no right to be sad
or cry
i'm not the fucking victim
i'm doing this
i could fix it
if i just
fucking
focus
i want to hit myself so bad