i don't know why i'm so damn sensitive
like
it's nothing
he is just doing his job
but i feel so fucking invisible
like i don't matter
like in the end you don't really care
you don't remember what i tell you
you don't ask if i wanna join
and then you leave without me
i feel so fucking alone here
i can't talk to anyone
nobody understands
nobody cares
everyone has better things to do
i'm just in the way
i know that it's also my fault
i know
i know i sleep too much
and don't talk a lot around people
there are days like this
where i feel like i'll never be strong enough
to actually live
like all of the days where i was motivated
and told people i want to do this or that
that i plan on getting back into studies
and maybe find a job
and all of that
all of that comes crashing down
and i'm right back to the fucking void
i don't want anything
except stopping fucking existing
and not feel like shit anymore
i'm tired
of always feeling like shit
deep down
always coming back to this
where nothing matters
nothing makes sense
and i don't want to fucking be here
especially if it doesn't even change anything