fuck youyou always leave me behind
i don't know if that's true
i feel like i'm kind of going psycho
i don't know if that's the right word
i feel like i react like a crazy person
like everything is a personal attack
like no they just wanted to enjoy time together
it has nothing to do with me
but that's the thing
them having fun has nothing to do with me
i'm not a part of it
i'm not needed or wanted
for them to enjoy their time
i can just be left behind
my mood changes so quickly
just today i went from
not wanting to get up
feeling comfortable listening to music
in the car
feeling disappointed
about not finding good thrifts
feeling better about myself
from the compliments i got
from the photos i posted
feeling anxious from the food i ate at lunch
which i wasn't supposed to
feeling sad understanding i wasn't invited
feeling better because i finally got a call
from her and caught up
feeling anxious at the bar
and frustrated with some clients
and then going back to extremely depressed
and angry that they went without me
and now i'm just sulking like a fucking imbecile
i'm acting like a fucking child
it's pathetic
giving them the silent treatment
and being passive aggressive
this is so dumb
anyway i know this sounds like
just going through different emotions in a day
but they all feel so intense
and change everything
how i view the present
and future
i don't know
it makes me want to stay
and then makes me want to leave
i don't know what i want
and what to do with myself