feel like i'm such a second choice
not even second
a fucking last resort
do people even like me
am i that boring and unappealing
am i so shitty
when i try my hardest to be a good friend
will definitely admit i'm not the best
far from that
and especially right now
but i'm always here for you
maybe that's not how you want me to be
i don't know anymore
feel like i don't mean a single thing to you
and that you take all i do for granted
do you realize
how much i try to do for you
try to always make you comfortable
make sure you're ok with any situation
listen to you, answer you, go with you
because i love you
and it honestly feels like you don't love me
maybe i'm just a possessive bitch
that could explain a lot
you have tons of friends
who are way better than me
they are funny, outgoing, not boring
they have time that i don't
they have energy that i don't
and i feel like you're leaving me behind
shouldn't be so selfish
it's probably way better for you
maybe i make you even more depressed
but i don't feel like i have any impact
on how you feel, think, act etc
because you don't care
why would you care about me
about what i say or how i feel
cause you know you're so much better
so why bother with me
i'm fucked up for writing this
i'm sorry
it's definitely not your fault
but you can be so egocentric
do you even notice me
i don't know
guess im angry at you
but i'll never have the courage to tell you
cause you will definitely reject me
you won't listen
or you'll think im an asshole
or completely stupid
so i guess i'll just keep this to myself
like an idiot
until we break
because of my own cowardice