feel like shit
feel so alone these days
really don't have that many friends
have acquaintances maybe
but my list of friends is pretty small
and even them
don't always feel like friends
i'm so tired
like really fucking tired
don't want to go
want to stay at my dad's
and do nothing
i'm scared of going
feel like the boring friend
you know in these cliche movies?
yeah that's me
don't want to go meet new people
don't want to go at a random party
don't want to hook up with anyone
and that's not me saying
"oh im not like other girls/boys/people"
i'm probably less interesting and fun
and it's not a judgment towards them
because i'd love to be like them
to want all that
to not be awkward and reserved
and to be able to let go and have fun
like everybody else
why am i always the one in the corner
killing the mood
she's gonna hate me after this week
she'll have way more fun after i leave
want everyone to disappear
i'm tired of others
they bring more pain than confort
was too tired to cut yesterday
feel like i'm losing my mind
always have a headache
can't see clearly
maybe i should wear my fucking glasses
and take my fucking meds
need to take my meds
fuck