feel like a real fucking burden
shouldn't be here
shouldn't have come
it was a mistake
they probably regret inviting me
wanna go home
but also not really
really want to disappear
to be someone else
feel weird
it's too hot
probably gonna weight so much
when i come back
scared of the scale
don't want to go back to work
don't want to go back to school
still have nightmares about it
what am i supposed to do
i'm so sorry
can't do shit
they must be so tired of me
i'm ruining their vacation
shouldn't have invited me
i'm just in their way
they're not having fun
because of me
i'm supposed to be entertaining
as a guest that's literally my purpose
probably worst one they could've chose
i'm the least fun person in this world
feel so boring
have nothing to give
the cuts are almost faded
i miss them
wish they were bloody
don't know if i should bring them back
we have a family trip
it's a risk i don't really want to take
but i hate my body without them
want them back
i don't know