i feel really bad about tonight
i'm not gonna be okay
and i'll have to keep it in
pretend everything's fine
and i'm having a good time
maybe i'll cut
maybe it will help
but i don't have anything to clean it up
it's risky
we'll see
i want to die
i want to leave
but i don't know where i want to go
nowhere
i don't want to be anywhere
it happened before
just like this
where i feel out of place
why do i not learn
my stomach hurts
why the fuck did i eat
i'm so dumb
how am i gonna look tonight
if i look fucking bloated
fuck the dress
wanna kill myself
i look hideous
and gross
they've all seen me eat
so much
i knew that would happen
and yet i still fell for it
i'm weak
no one here is looking after me
i get it
she has so many things to do
and think about
and there is all this pressure on her
she doesn't
nor the energy
to look out for me
to make sure i'm okay
i'm not
but nobody cares
as they should
why should they care about me