dude
i don't know you
why the fuck are you talking about my body
and about how much i eat
you are literally a stranger
what is wrong with you
this weird thing happened again
i'm not even sure it's a panic attack anymore
it feels like dying
no it feels like my body is slowly giving out
and like im slowly passing out
it feels like passing out
but it's building up for about an hour
i feel strangely cold
like having shivers
i start to have nausea
then my stomach hurts a bit
my limbs start to feel like they can't hold me
my arms feel heavy
my hands start to shake
then my arms
then my legs
then suddenly i get this huge heat wave
i'm not cold at all anymore
the back of my neck
and my forehead
and my cheeks
and my torso
feel like it's burning up
i start to sweat
even a cold towel doesn't change a thing
i feel my eyes are shaking
and blinking involuntarily
my breaths are short
i need to crouch down to calm down
and of course this time i let a glass fall
i fucking broke the glass
my first glass
i feel like that was such a failure
but honestly
considering the state i was in
i'm not surprised it happened
almost didn't make it to my room
without falling or passing out
sat in the bathtub
and it took all of my strength
to raise my head
reach for the shower head
and turned on the cold water
oh no
the shivers are coming back