jesus christ
fuck off
like get over it
we were late
like once
it didn't even matter
like didn't change the planning of the day
we still did the same things
in the same amount of time
why are you so petty
if you want to be angry
just own it
like say it once
and get it over with
i know this is very hypocritical of me
like i wouldn't have done any better
i mean i'm not passive aggressive
but still
i don't know why everything pisses me off
like i feel like every time i write here
is to complain
or be angry
i guess i'm just not used to it
i'd feel more comfortable being sad
this is weird
i feel like i'm more likable when sad
angry is not likable
still fucking talking about weight
all the fucking damn time
how am i supposed to not think about it
when everyone is so obsessed with it
i realize how weak i am
in merely as second
i already have tears to my eyes
i'm so fucking sensitive
just because she kept cutting me off
i know she didn't mean to
i know
she told me
but it makes me feel like shit
it makes me angry
and fucking like shit
like you don't fucking care
you don't listen
you don't listen
you ask me to talk
but it's like you don't care for my answer
i know it's not true
but it still brings me to tears
like a fucking crybaby
and i'm blinking heavily
to suppress the tears
cause there are people around
and i'm working
i need to keep up
it's dumb
what would i even say
my throat feels so tight
i know i'm at my limit
i'm always at my fucking limit
if you push just a bit more
i'll start crying
or having a full on panic attack
everything is so complicated
i don't want to think
i want to shut my brain off
but it's just an illusion
i can act like everything doesn't exist
but in the end
i still need to face it
i need to breathe
i felt better about myself
when i was "just" sad
i don't like feeling mad
i don't like feeling angry
it feels like i'm ungrateful
fuck off
you were petty the whole day
and now you act all friendly
because we're in front of others?
fuck you
why do i do that
i'm so dumb
then i act surprised
when people think i'm doing better
i just can't seem to talk about what's wrong
and i give this impression that things are good
i'm just gonna disappoint them even more later