i want to cry
i want to lay down
and disappear
that no one notices me
if i didn't exist
i wouldn't feel forgotten
people wouldn't be forgetting about me
they would just simply ignore my existence
i wouldn't be able to be forgotten
but i do exist
that's the truth
i exist
and people forget about me
i want to break my arm
see the bones cracked
i want someone to squash my skull
apply so much pressure
that i pass out
that i turn off
i also want my dad to talk to me
to ask me how i'm doing
and care
really care
not care behind this protection of distance
it's not faire
i'm tired
of having to know he cares
i want to feel it
i want to believe it
i'm tired of being the one to understand
i want people to understand me
please leave me alone
please don't come to talk to me
my teeth hurt
it's fucking annoying
i'm trying not to be mean
trying to be as nice as possible