read something today
"don't want to distract myself all my life"
and like
fuck
everyday is just another day
trying to distract myself
almost forgot how anxious
and stressed i am
i'm stress eating right now
i know
did so good these last few days
only eating rice cakes and fruits
and i can feel the failure
right around the corner
and i can't go there
and be as depressed as i feel
know it's supposed to be no pressure
but i can't ruin it for her
she also feels like shit about herself
can't make it worse
want to die really bad these days
it doesn't make any sense
always feel like shit
whoever i'm with
whatever i'm doing
can't do this
want to throw up
feel like i'm having a lowkey panic attack
since this morning
i'm so anxious
feel like crying
i'm gonna be fucking bloated
literally so dumb
THIS was supposed the time i didn't eat
i'm literally going to the pool